One tin soldier...

 One tin soldier...




     For a man who had so many permanent dislikes in popular culture there was one early film that may have taken the rotten cake for Greg. My aged memory cannot recall the particulars about how we ever watched the thing the first time but we thought it reeked of foul horseshit. It was trying to be another "Easy Rider" which ages like bad enough cheese but Billy Jack was a phony hippy tale full of stilted love lingo and bogus martial arts beatdowns where the peace hero kicks the asses of dozens of bullies. It was 1971 which was actually the 60's to anyone who was there and the peace sign was being flashed alongside the bird all around the town. Rotten Tomatoes succinctly describes Billy Jack as "A part-Indian Vietnam veteran (Tom Laughlin) kicks around bigots who pick on his girlfriend's (Delores Taylor) so-called freedom school"  Laughlin as Billy  spouts one withering catch phrase after another while his GF Delores whines for an hour and a half.  The key scene goes like this 

[Billy Jack is surrounded by Posner's thugs] 

Mr. Posner: You really think those Green Beret Karate tricks are gonna help you against all these boys?

Billy Jack: Well, it doesn't look to me like I really have any choice now, does it?

Mr. Posner: [laughing] That's right, you don't.

Billy Jack: You know what I think I'm gonna do then? Just for the hell of it?

Mr. Posner: Tell me.

Billy Jack: I'm gonna take this right foot, and I'm gonna whop you on that side of your face...

[points to Posner's right cheek]

Billy Jack: ...and you wanna know something? There's not a damn thing you're gonna be able to do about it.

Mr. Posner: Really?

Billy Jack: Really.

[kicks Posner's right cheek, sending him to the ground]


     Much of the movie involves these scruffy outcast kids/indians from "the school" getting bullied by townies who seem to have nothing better to do than humiliate hippies/indians. The students are being taught to be non-violent peaceniks by the do-gooder girlfriend Jean so Billy Jack is reluctant to use violence. However, audiences came to see the town punks get their asses kicked by the flying boots of Billy so he kicked many slack-jawed hayseeds patoots. Strangely enough the movie was a huge hit and mystified Greg, proving his disdain for the plastic people surrounding us. Four more of these dreadful cinematic turds followed but "the Trial of Billy Jack" was the worst. This follow up film, even more lame than the first was a must for we cool critics so we went wanting blood. We got it with red meat Billy speechifying endlessly. Kevin was so rambunctious and dismissive of Billy's gospel that Greg had to ask him to simmer down to no avail. After all, they were surrounded by Plastic People thoroughly enjoying this hogwash. It was three awful hours long and I believe we made it into double figure minutes.  "Trial..." is considered one of the worst films of all time by legit film critics and one reviewer described the experience as "The memory of the unending torment I endured while watching this film still sits in my brain, like a compost heap that never fully decomposes. Words can't express the boredom and agony of seeing this movie; 45 hours of labor with my first child was not as difficult."


Go ahead and hate your neighborGo ahead and cheat a friendDo it in the name of heavenYou can justify it in the endThere won't be any trumpets blowingCome the judgment dayOn the bloody morning afterOne tin soldier rides away







Comments

  1. KentFebruary 28, 2025 at 1:52 PM

    Jack: A real piece of fetid semi-liquid ordure. My favorite line (among so very very many)-“We’ll fight them the only way we know how. Street theater!” Thanks Glen

    ReplyDelete

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