An anatomy lesson

 an anatomy lesson

      Of the many reasons why I miss my old pal is that I have had to surrender a large part of my vocabulary to the ether. We developed our own expressions by comparing situations at hand with experiences in the past. Sometimes the descriptions just appeared from the subconscious and sometimes we heard them from gentlefolk like cousin Kent and borrowed them for our own usage. This vernacular could be taken from Shakespeare or a skid row bum but the sole purpose was to have fun with the English language. Part of this love for speech came from the great John F. Sheehy and some of it just existed in our DNA as the Irish are well known for their gift of gab. Today, I am reminded of our list of anatomical lingo that worked perfectly for us and associates. These are just a few terms we used instead of the vulgate.

Rear Main Seal- basically the anus. We had to live with a common male problem which involved the leaking of excreta from the back door. Such a condition created many an embarassing reaction from skid marks on underwear or even clothing to maddening  itching called pruritus by the medical establishment. Why the towering torment could not be cured is beyond me and the only doctor who ever tackled the muddle puddle successfully was the wonderful dermatologist Heather Butler and her magic foam. I told Greg about a leaky rear main seal as in the automotive part that keeps oil sealed inside the engine. The term stuck and we often compared treatments which ran from the manpon to a hygeine shower after bidness had been accomplished.

Boiler- the digeastive process, in particular the stomach. If you ate something that caused upset you might express the dyspepsia as saying you had a "bad boiler." 

Tubes- the muscular arms seen on professional athletes, especially NFL linemen who exposed the bulging biceups or  delts. i.e. "look at the tubes on this guy!"

Cannon- a similar term of admiration for a baseball player with a strong arm. Mostly used for outfielders but sometimes for  3rd basemen or shortstops who could fire the ball across the diamond at high velocity. 

Gut- not used for impressed awe but mostly to deride a guy who let himself go. Huge gut or Big Gut were common terms to describe a man with a massive beer belly. Sometimes the more humorous "pot" was used for men or women. 

Gentleman's bone- this is just the way a fellow flips the bird to an adversary. A gentleman's bone is an easy thrust of the middle finger upward while holding the index and ring fingers down with the thumb.

Beezer- the nose of a man, must likely a drinking man who has some visable blood vessels on the tip of fleshy protuberance.

Globe- a Greg term to represent a large head. Sometimes used as guy's got a big globe"

Dogs- this would be feet, largely if they were well-used and fatigued then they would be "barking dogs"

Puss- a face. i.e. it hit him right in the puss! Also relating to a guy with a bad complexion like actor Richard Boone who had "a puss you could  hide a day's rain in" according to Evan

Bush- not just pubic hair but used to sketch out any body hair i.e. armpit bush

Hog fat- borrowed from the old linguist to describe anyone overweight all over

Peepers- eyes, especially sleepy eyes that are blinking with the need for a snooze

Choppers- teeth, as in the story of  Al Sheehy getting false choppers in TJ in one day

Goggles- not just eyes but the effect of seeing things in a way that is swayed by outside influences. i'e. beer goggles

The huge number or slang terms for penis and breasts will be left off this list but they are many and many are fun...